and I thought I loved him then...

I think everyone has a certain part of their lives where they truly wish they could freeze time. Whether it was three years ago, today, or still to come, whether it was just a moment, a whole day, or a whole summer. Everyone has a time in their life where they wish everything would just stop. The world would stop turning and people would stop changing because to them, at that time, everything was perfect.”
— Unknown

I couldn't have asked for more at our wedding. It started off with a Jazz band playing. Then in the middle of it a panhandler dressed as a tin-lady stepped up next to Garrett.. After it was all said and done.. a Jazz funeral walked by. It was exactly what I wanted. The donuts, the drinks, and then getting to go to the beach afterward. My dream wedding came true... Time stood still just for me and Garrett.

Every day it seems like I'm falling more in love with this man.. Only 2 weeks ago I swore I couldnt love him anymore than I did that day and here I am overjoyed with the thought of conquering our dreams, and growing old together. As the song says "and I thought I loved him then."

Gifts from the sea. Readings for our wedding.

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, mot in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.

Oklahoma, OK!

So we went to Sulphur Springs on Fathers Day.
It was hot and the water was wicked cold!
I got some great photos though!








Tell me whats not to love about Oklahoma.

NoWhere

This song is the reason I moved in with Garrett... If you know me or knew me then... you'll understand completely.. if not.. then read it.. Now looking back.. realizing that I actually did go to Boston, to the Atlantic, to the Gulf.. and that my dreams have came true. I just love this song.

World on your shoulders
Lot on your brain
Enough to drive a girl insane
Well I been thinkin bout maybe headin' southbound
Wonder if you'd do the same

Why don't you roll with me baby down to Nowhere, Texas
I got nothin but time
Jump in the cab of my 70 Chevy
Leave Oklahoma far behind

My good friend told me once Texas is big enough
That a man could get lost
Roll down that window
Open that glove box
Give that road map a toss

Why don't you roll with me baby down to Nowhere, Texas
I got nothin but time
Jump in the cab of my 70 Chevy
Leave Oklahoma far behind

Dallas to Austin
Please come to Boston
Cause I been playin all night long
Turn off that radio
I'm gonna sing to you sweetly
the words to your favorite song

Why don't you roll with me baby down to Nowhere, Texas
I got nothin but time
Jump in the cab of my 70 Chevy
Leave Oklahoma far behind

Well we'll keep on drivin till we hit that ocean
We'll get there by the break of day
Maybe I should warn you I never could stay sober
When I'm sittin on that Corpus Christi Bay

Why don't you roll with me baby down to Nowhere, Texas
I got nothin but time
Jump in the cab of my 70 Chevy
Leave Oklahoma far behind

Why don't you roll with me baby down to Nowhere, Texas
I got nothin but time
Jump in the cab of my 70 Chevy
Leave Oklahoma far behind

Nothing Else Matters

Wow, its nearly been 2 weeks since I've became Mrs. Hite.. and I'm still getting used to it. I love him so much. This has been the most exciting and gratifying thing I've ever done.. Everyone keeps asking if it feels different.. and to be honest.. not really. Well aside from the name change and having a husband.. but I think thats a good thing. We've already worked through all the crap that newlyweds work with.
I'm just so happy and words cant even describe it.. so heres a song that always makes me think of Garrett.

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters
-Nothing Else Matters, Metallica

Wow...

I'm getting married... =]

Dreams

I remember I used to have a hiding place in my parents garden. It was under these huge leaves next to the gardening shack... the leaves were known as elephant ears. Next to them was this beautiful plant that put off gorgeous flowers... My cat and I would sit under these leaves and read books and daydream all day of when we would grow up.

I miss my days and my secret hiding place... Recently I went to my mother in law(soon to be!)'s and she had the exact plant in her backyard, along with some grapes! I HAD to snap some pictures.
GorGor their cat that they adopted from us even jumped in on the photoshoot.

Its kind of funny, looking back. All the things I had hoped and dreamed for.. and the only thing that has really come true.. The most important one.. Love. I found real, true love!


The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing'
how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.
-Rumi

Sometimes, you just feel like being emotional...
Sometimes, you just feel like doing nothing at all...
Sometimes, you just wanna lay there and watch the clouds goes by...

Honor, Respect, Love

Respect them, Honor them, love them. Because they are, afterall... the only Hero we, as Americans, really have left.

Happy Memorial Day.

Taken in downtown Shreveport, LA. May 22,2009.

Dream of the Stars

I love the classic romantic quote just as much as the next guy... but today this quote really hit home. Also check out my photoshop skills. =]

Relationships don’t work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won’t they? And then they finally do, and they’re happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I’m telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven’t. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y’know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don’t care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line: it’s couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don’t let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it’s right, and they’re real lucky, one of them will say something.
- Dr Cox

lay your head next to mine and we'll sleep one good sleep tonight.
fall asleep, love, to forget or to dream ... fall asleep to leave this world behind.

and i wish for you, friend, to lie down in peace and i wish for you always to know that as long as we'll dream under these stars in the sky that we've seen since the day we were born ...

... to move but don't move too fast for your dreams or your grandest of plans.

dream of nights of fireflies and skies so clear, so untouched. dream of a time, of a place for us to live, so free, so free.

just as quick as you can fall asleep.

i imagine this song being sung to a child sleeping out and looking up at the stars and realizing how large and incredible the world is. i used to get scared looking up at the stars at night because it was like looking at billions of other worlds ... it's easy to get so caught up in the gears of life (work, school, obligations, responsibilities) that we lost any sort of creative ambition or desire for ridiculous adventures, and so the only time we have to imagine is when we sleep. i originally had a line in the song that said "its so sad to only dream when you sleep," and i really think it's true. maybe if we allowed ourselves the time to take a step back and realize how wonderful our world can be (if we stop destroying it, that is) we could dream up all kinds of things for ourselves.
-Lullabies-Defiance, Ohio

Jazz

Due to his addiction to destroying our antique furniture... and not to mention destruction... We had Jazz declawed today. I miss my baby so much. At 4 he was still groggy but doing well. I signed him up to get as many painkillers that were allowed. I feel so bad.. but I also recognize that this will make our house more peaceful. This has also made me realize that I dont want to cover up my Jazz tattoo.




I cant wait till he comes home.

love is a flower

Didnt ya know, I'm a gardener. =]

Salvias and Bees! Some of these photos took real courage since I'm scared senseless of bees.






My bat faced cupheas. Do you see the face? These babies are kind of delicate and I'm very proud of myself for getting them to bloom.

This is Carl... He was figuring out where he was at. We saved his life from getting crunched on our sidewalk.


After he figured out he was in a photoshoot he started posing.


Then we put him on a leaf and let him be a happy snail.

I wanna grow old with you

Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry?
When we imagine? When we kiss?
This is because the most beautiful things in the world are unseen.
-Unknown

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird
and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours,
we join up with them and fall in
mutual weirdness and call it love.
-unknown

All of this wedding stuff has me crying right and left. I cant even hear silly songs without having a memory and starting to cry. Hopefully I'll get it all out before the wedding. =]

I'm so happy Garrett is the man I'm going to marry. I've never met someone who makes me smile every single day. Someone who can make my heart skip a beat just by looking at me.. I'm so happy that every night I get to share a bed with this remarkable man.

June 6th cant get here soon enough. I still have tons to do.. but I'm so excited. It feels like I'm getting to live my fantasy... finally

I wanna make you smile,
Whenever you're sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
All I wanna do,
Is grow old with you.

I'll get you medicine,
When your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh it could be so nice,
Growin' old with you.

I'll miss you, kiss you,
Give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you.
Even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink.
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man,
Who grows old with you.

I wanna grow old with you.
-Adam Sandler(the wedding singer)

I don't know how I survived
In this cold and empty world
For all this time
I only know that I'm alive
Because you love me

When I recall what I've been through
There's some things
That I wish I didn't do
Now I do the things I do
Because you love me

And now that you're in my life
I'm so glad I'm alive
'Cause you showed me the way
And I know now how good it can be
Because You love me

And now that you're in my life
Oh, I'm so glad I'm alive
'Cause you showed me the way
And I know now how good it can be
Because you love me

I believe in things unseen
I believe in the message of a dream
And I believe in what you are
Because you love me

With all my heart and all my soul
I'm loving you and I never will let go
And every day I'll let it show
Because you love me
Because you love me
Because you love me
Jodee Messina

atomic kitchen and victogoth everything..

After visiting antique malls to finish my guest room... I realized how much I love the atomic kitchens of the 50's. How the retail industry targetted the women of the 50s with updated kitchenware, and color schemes to make the oh so busy life of an housewife just that much easier. I love every bit of it... and after I found the perfect teacups and saucers for only $5, I was incredibly happy and ready to finish the set.. only to have found that the entire set costs $3,000 and I was incredibly lucky to find what I did. Now I'm torn trying to figure out whether I should just sell the 3 I already have and start a new collection or cheaper china... or stick with it and hope that by the time I'm 50 I'll be able to throw down the $100 for the serving dish.. I dont know.

I've also found this silverware... I must have it! and I will.. I'll slowly collect all of this.

Now on to what I've lovingly named Victogoth..which is the rest of my home haha. I love it but finding a decent cradenza or tv stand for a reasonable price is quite challenging.
In other news, my floors are finished! I'm so excited. It feels like I have a whole new home.